Match 2.11 DCU v RSL - Recap by RSL Ben

I asked RSL Ben for his take on the game and he sent me the following. I'm not sure why I am putting myself through this but maybe if we keep it close in our minds it won't be repeated. He also sent pictures of which I will post a few in the near future.

Ben Cup Leg 1: RSL v. DCU 6/23/07
Hmmm...I'm not really sure how to do this. I was beginning to think I wouldn't have to do it all year... How do I write up an RSL win??? I'll try anyway.

First half: Expectations and morale seemed pretty low throughout the stadium as the game kicked off. As the game started and RSL missed a wide open goal off a corner I had a feeling of here we go again. I even sent a text message to DC Ben saying it was a "bad omen". But then, something amazing happened. Real Salt Lake remembered for the first time this year that they are, in fact, a professional soccer team! And, by extension, started playing like one. They really outplayed DC in every facet of the game and looked hungry to win for once. DC, on the other hand, looked like RSL usually does: disinterested and bored. The culmination came with a nice breakaway goal by new guy Robbie Findley late in the first half. Oddly, this came soon after I had said how bad he was playing (and he had been-lots of turnovers, little hustle). I believe I inspired him. Probably the best half of soccer RSL has turned in all year, and with some better finishing (and some correct officiating-how does Esky NOT earn a PK late in the half), RSL really SHOULD have been up 2 or 3 by halftime. Either way, half time score: RSL 1, DC 0
Half grade: A- (higher with better finishing)

Second half: I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know, the one that comes during every RSL game where they fall asleep mentally and blow the game. But then, there it was, another Findley breakaway goal. Amazing! The only thing he's missing is Jeff's sweet sweet goal celebrations. No one can be self absorbed like Mr. Cunningham. After the goal, RSL did a pretty good job controlling possession and keeping DC out of it until late. Then they seemed to lose a little focus. DC scored a goal on an absolutely braindead play by RSL's backline. Kipre had about an hour to clear it, but decided to just bounce it around for a while. Rimando probably could have gotten to it earlier but didn't. Next time in that situation, Nicky needs to punch Kipre in the face and take the ball from him. It's called taking one for the team, Jean. hahaha Soon after, Medhi "Nah, I don't want to win" Ballouchy continued his awful game (those who say otherwise, go back and watch it again, he sucked as usual this year) by sending a wonderful header into the box...for DC! Sadly, this is probably the best "attacking" pass he's made all year and it was to the other team. If only he'd set our team up like that! Luckily, DC absolutely choked on the opportunity (I think the ball is scheduled to land sometime next Thursday) and RSL faked injury all the way to a 2-1 victory. Actually, the ref got RSL back most of the way for the time wasting with a 5 minute stoppage time session that seemed to last about 2 hours. EVERYONE in the stadium was expecting RSL to blow it (see RSL v. Dallas any time this year for prime examples). The joy that overcame the stadium was amazing when the final whistle blew. "Did someone just win the world cup?" "Nah, RSL just won a game." The place went nuts, that s**t was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. Good times, good times. RSL now just needs a tie to clinch the 2nd Ben Cup in Sept., or as I put it to DC Ben after the game "Oh snap. That is all."
Half grade: B

Pros:
-Findley, where have you been all my life?
-The team looked interested and played with passion
-Talley over Adu was an upgrade of epic proportions. Have fun in Europe Freddy, don't let the door hit you on the way out (or do, actually, all your crap about leaving while you don't do crap for us has gotten mighty old).
-Solid performance almost all the way around.
-Atiba Harris back at his natural D-mid spot is nice.-Eddie Pope, rock solid again. We will miss him next year...
-WE WON!!!
-Ben Cup 2007: RSL 1-0-0, DC 0-1-0, mwahahahaha!

Cons:
-Esky didn't get a goal. You could tell he really REALLY wanted one.
-Ben Olsen was a chump. Lots of shoving and smacking RSL players behind the play. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought Mastroeni came in and played for him. It was nice to see him booed every time he touched the ball for the last 30 min. though.
-Kipre's idiocy that led to the goal-otherwise he played solid.
-Medhi Ballouchy. Or as he is becoming, Adu Jr. Wants to be the team's playmaker (and sadly, is given that role) but can't do it. Decision making was poor at best (what was that late back header about?), passing was off, and he still can't hit a cross or a corner at all. Why he is still taking them is beyond me.
-DC fans blaming it on Nolly. He was hung out to dry on both goals. Not his fault.

Game grade: A-

Other things we learned:
-RSL seems to play its best against DC. Don't know why, guess it's the Ben Cup.
-Ballouchy is "cute." Or at least my wife thinks so.
-The Ben Cup is only getting started...just picture it in 5 years. Oh yes.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando, 7-didn't have a lot to do honestly
Jean-Martial Kipre, 5-played well, but huge mistake cost him
Eddie Pope, 8-held together the back line and killed DC
Jack Stewart, 6-quiet game, which for him is good-when he's loud its because of mistakes
Ritchie Kotschau, 6-meh, was he on the pitch?
Carey Talley, 7-played pretty well in Chris Klein's old spot
Atiba Harris, 7-the move to d-mid has done him a world of good
Andy Williams, 6-active but sloppy
Mehdi Ballouchy, 5-had a few moments (and got his nose into things-see number of times he went down), but his sloppiness/weaknesses continue to hurt
Robbie Findley, 9-Two goals make up for any early miscues. Just wow. Great debut!
Alecko Eskandarian, 8-Active, hustling, urgent, hungry. Normal Esky game.
(Daniel Torres 46) 6-played quietly but decently
(Jamie Watson 73) 7-didn't do a lot but was all over the field. Like a little Esky.
(Kyle Brown 84) Inc.-didn't have time to do anything

Match 2.11 The Result: DCU v RSL 6-23-07 First Leg of the Ben Cup

DCU 1 RSL 2

All streaks must come to an end. Whether it be the RSL winless streak or the DCU unbeaten streak, they cannot go on forever. But did it have to happen like this?

There are only two explanations for this loss. One is that the pressure of the Ben Cup got to the team and they could not perform. The other is that somebody forgot to tell the team that this is the Ben Cup and this game does matter. We went in against the worst team in the MLS and got beaten soundly. We were not interested in playing.

Nolly didn't get help from the defense and the defense didn't get help from him. Gomez was invisible. The offense was not clicking in the final third and the defense was not clicking in their own third. We had some flashes of proper form in the middle third but never generated any chances. We didn't look dangerous and that is our biggest failing. When we don't look dangerous we lose. I really really hate to say this, but we lacked passion, intensity, any sort of positive motivation.

This is the Ben Cup guys! Luckily you have a second leg to make this better.

We are about to enter a stretch of games that will be much more difficult than this game (Colorado, KC, Houston, and Dallas). Our roster will be reduced by the U20 World Cup and Copa America. We are going to have to find depth and spark in new places.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.11

1. We are down one in the Ben Cup. We will have to perform much better in the return leg.
2. Kpene didn't start which I think is a mistake, however, this week he was NOT the replacement for Moreno.
3. RSL Ben got good seats and a great win for his birthday.
4. Erpen forgot to shave.

Rice-Eccles Stadium (The Ping Pong Table)

I asked RSL Ben to send me any pictures he had of the field at RES and he sent me this (RES in the background, Tori in foreground):

When I asked him why I couldn't see the American football lines that are so obviously clear on television, he was kind enough to send me this:

He also included the following explanation:

There's 2 reasons that you can't see them:
1) the resolution on the pic is not very good-it was taken on my old cellphone.
2) you just didn't look close enough, you can still see some-look again [above].

Thanks again RSL Ben!

Match 2.11 The Setup: DCU v RSL 6-23-07 First Leg of the Ben Cup

A rivalry is usually determined by geographic proximity or at least division/conference proximity. The Ben Cup rivalry spawns from something much more basic and barbaric, man's competitive spirit. The friendship between two men (some may call them boys) will never be the same.

I met RSL Ben about 6 years ago when we became roommates at Southern Utah University (GO T-BIRDS!). Oddly enough we lived with another Ben, making 3 total living in the same house, and a Joe and a Mike. There might have been a time where we tried to give nicknames to differentiate between the Bens but not until the Ben Cup could we attach DCU and RSL to our names and know for sure who was who. While we lived together we both liked soccer, but had not yet let the MLS into our hearts. We parted ways after one semester but we always kept in touch. Luckily I married a girl from Utah so I could visit him her family often.

Last year when I found DC United (introduced to me by El Goleador, second picture down), I naturally wanted to introduce my new friend to RSL Ben. Little did I know that he had also found a new love in RSL. Let's just say that our new love interests did not get along. After the penalty kick fiasco, RSL Ben started to talk trash about how they wouldn't need the referee to win at RFK. I was sure that we would get a result at home without a problem so I countered his trash with a little of my own. We text messaged each other through (what would become the second leg) the second match and the Ben Cup was born. Unfortunately all DC could put together was a Freddy free kick and I had to concede the first Ben Cup on aggregate.

On to a new year and a new cup. DC United has the opportunity to go up big in the first leg of Ben Cup 2007. The Black and Red come into Rice-Eccles Stadium riding their 7 game unbeaten streak and looking to extend it to 8 before Copa America wreaks havoc on the roster. This is a game we should win which always worries me. RSL is the worst team in the league. There is no getting around that fact. Unfortunately they were also one of the worst last year and still beat us.

Due to the Ben Cup I tend to watch as many RSL games as possible to size up the competition. I also pull for them in most other games, especially now that Esky is there. The defensive breakdowns and lack of midfield control are extremely frustrating. However, last week against FC Dallas I felt as if the turf itself was keeping them from winning. They put together some decent attacks but the ball was untrappable, especially for Adu. RSL will be out Adu (U-20 World Cup) and Chris Brown (their recent goal maker, injured) and I'm guessing Klein as well (traded to LAG). It will be interesting to see if the newly acquired Sturgis and Findley will have any affect on Saturday's game. They can't possibly be a negative for them.

Usually I don't do predictions but as my co-founder made the request I will take a shot at it.

DC 3 RSL 1
DC goals by Gomito, Fred, and Erpen, from distance of course
RSL goal by Esky who will love to score another against us

Thanks to D and JCM for Ben Cup shout outs.

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.11

1. We give ourselves a nice lead in the Ben Cup race; at least 2 or 3 goals. By the way, away goals mean nothing. Except maybe scoring on that ping pong table in Salt Lake should count double for both teams.
2. Kpene (hopefully healed) shows us he can start in place of Moreno for the long haul; we need a third striker that can get the job done.
3. RSL Ben gets good seats to see the game on his birthday.
4. Erpen scores from distance.

RSL Ben Interview (The Ben Cup Leg 1)

The Edgell Supporters are proud to present their first interview. RSL Ben was kind enough to take time out of his busy day to answer our questions, even after waking up at 4am for work.



DCU Ben: Let me start with the obvious, as co founder of the Ben Cup, Why? Where? Who? How? What?

RSL Ben: The Ben Cup is a (soon to be) premier rivalry in the MLS between Real Salt Lake and DC United. It was started as a result of a rivalry between two friends named Ben, one who roots for RSL and the other for DCU (obviously).The title is decided by the results of competitive (non-preseason) matches between the teams. RSL won the inaugural Ben Cup in 2006.

DCU Ben: What does it mean to have the Ben Cup as the first trophy in the RSL case?

RSL Ben: It means a lot, considering the complete ineptitude this team seems to display on a weekly basis. I find it amusing personally that the one title RSL has won is against MLS's most prestigious team.

DCU Ben: What does the trophy look like?

RSL Ben: The final trophy design is still being debated and thought out so right now the Ben Cup winner is solely a title provided in name only. This will hopefully be rectified soon.

DCU Ben: Where is it living now?

RSL Ben: In the hearts and minds of millions...and if it existed, in Utah mwahahaha

DCU Ben: When you have to send it to me after the second leg, who will pay for shipping?

RSL Ben: *cough* what? I missed that question ;)

DCU Ben: I know the second leg is not until September 12, but shouldn't I just pick up the cup when I'm in Utah in August?

RSL Ben: You can feel free to, us Utahns are a friendly people, we'd be glad to let you look at it for fun until 9/12 when you will obviously have to give it back to the rightful owners.

DCU Ben: Do you think that having 3 members of the losing Ben Cup squad from last year (Adu, Rimando, Eskandarian) will help or hurt your chances this year?

RSL Ben:
Help: Rimando & Esky
Hurt: Adu-he's just been painful to watch this year

DCU Ben: I noticed that "MLS" joined the Ben Cup group on Myspace, does this mean the MLS might officially recognize the Ben Cup?

RSL Ben: If they are smart they will. They don't want to miss the boat on this one!

DCU Ben: How can we notify the participating organizations of their involvement in the Ben Cup?

RSL Ben: Once we get the trophy and such finalized I hope to notify the RSL supporters groups as well as shoot off an email to the front office (if they have bothered to hire anyone yet) to let them know.

DCU Ben: What is your prediction for the first leg? Any more Free Tibet chanting (thanks kali)?

RSL Ben: Well, I'm just hoping that RSL can get their first (and the way they are playing currently, only) win of the season on the 23rd. It'd be a solid b-day present for me. I'm thinking DCU will be overlooking RSL in this one, that bodes well for the boys in red. No Tibet chanting this time, the Peoples Republic of Rice Eccles will see to that.

DCU Ben: Where do you see the Ben Cup going in the future? Corporate sponsorships?

RSL Ben: You never know. Maybe if DCU chooses to make it competitive (mwahaha) it will catch on a bit quicker...

DCU Ben: When do we start flying back and forth for every leg? Losing team from previous year pays?

RSL Ben: When I have a job that actually pays me enough to live on plus enough for plane tix.

DCU Ben: Additional comments?

RSL Ben: Don't worry too much, United fans, about clearing a spot for the Cup. We'll keep it safe here for at least another year. (But in seriousness, I'm rooting for ya in non-Ben Cup games).

DCU Ben: Thanks for your participation in this interview. In all seriousness we wish RSL the best of luck and hope they do start winning, just not this week.

The Ben Cup

Stay tuned tomorrow for an interview with RSL Ben, co-founder of the Ben Cup.

Match 2.10 The Result: DCU v Chicago Fire 6-16-07

DCU 3 Chicago Fire 1

The ballet recital was excellent (because I know you all care). I can't even find any highlights of the game online so I have no firsthand account to report. Has anyone found video highlights online yet? Luckily the Internets provide updates on mobile devices these days so we did get mlsnet's match tracker coverage. I think I read that Erpen had a shot. Taking a shot is the difficult step, the easy part is putting it into the net. Just a few more shots and all our dreams will come true.

Dyachenko got the start up top and from what I hear was gifted his first MLS goal, congratulations Rod! McTavish took Boswell's spot (did he play in the center or on the outside?) and was at least decent. The result was expected. I'm content with the offensive effort. I'm still a little concerned with our propensity for giving up the after-goal goal. That will be the hope and dream of next week. By the way, everybody hates you HDNet, just sayin.

For full reports see here, here, here, and here.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.10

1. We pulled up our pants and kicked Chicago while they were down.
2. McTavish gave the back line a little more hope for depth although it was against the utterly underwhelming Chicago attack.
3. Goal dust was spread but didn't quite get to Fred.
4. Goal dust lightly touched Erpen and he had a shot, although I have no idea where or how.

Now that all of this is out of the way, this week is a big week for the Edgell Supporters, it is Ben Cup week. The first leg is coming up on Saturday and we hope to have full coverage, so stay tuned.

Match 2.10 The Setup: DCU v Chicago Fire 6-16-07

I need to come clean before I get into the setup. I won't be at the game. I will be at a ballet recital for my 4 year old niece. To make matters worse, this is one of those exclusive HDNet games. This situation brings a three-fold challenge to the supporters, we will have to find someone that (a) has HD (b) has HDNet and (c) has a DVR, and I guess (d) will allow us to utilize all of the above. If all of the conditions cannot be met, the results post will be brief.

It has almost been a year since DC United has beaten Chicago even though we played them 5 times last year (including the Open Cup). On aggregate we lost 8 to 4 last year. Last year I felt like they owned us and it was a dirty feeling. Because I am a newbie I did some research all the way back to the ancient time of 2005 BEE (before edgell era) to see if they have always owned us. In 2005 we fared about even until the playoffs when they blanked us 4-nil in the second leg of the conference semifinals. Nauseating. Now I wish I would not have done that research.

Chicago is currently struggling, to put it mildly. They have lost five of their last seven with their win and tie coming against Columbus and RSL (the bottoms of their respective tables). DC is arguably coming off their best win in the last year and still riding their unbeaten streak. Moreno is on Bolivian duty and Boswell is on red card duty.

Who replaces Moreno? or rather who starts in his position? (there is no replacement quite yet)

Is Kpene healthy enough to start? or do we see Addlery up top? Maybe we see Dyachenko return to his striker position of last year.

How does the defense line up without Boswell?

Do we return to the Simms experiment? Not if Namoff plays on the left we don't. Does McTavish get another shot at playing with the back line and we see Erpen and Namoff in the middle?

There are a couple lineup questions but the real question is, can we get Chicago off our back? Can we come out to play through the rough fouls (yes CJ I'm talking about you) and the questionable calls?

I say yes. I say, this year is the year we will pull our pants back up, turn around and let Chicago know who is in charge. I also say good luck Chicago, because while you are busy clogging the middle and manhandling Christian Gomez, Benny the Goal Machine and Fred the Fire Starter will be flying like pixies on the wings, sprinkling goal dust on the rest of the United squad. See if you can stop a couple of manly flying pixies! Doubtful.

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.10

1. We kick Chicago while they are down and don't look back.
2. We show defensive depth and Boswell's replacement holds strong in the back.
3. Goal dust touches Fred and he scores his first.
4. Goal dust touches Erpen and he scores from distance.

P.S. Bobby, while you are sitting out your tarjeta roja, you might want to hit up your girl Nelly and ask her what's up with this.
P.P.S. An HDNet location has been secured with all the requisites.
P.P.P.S. no.....it hasn't (sadly, dirty d)

Abuelito gets the call up and the Moreno Equation

Jaime Moreno has been called up for more Bolivian National Team duty. As much as I have complained about him in the last month, I am going to miss him. Last week he really showed us that he can trade in that wheelchair for a cane and go to work. It seems as though the first call up for the friendly with Ireland is what got him going so maybe this will further increase his brilliance. I have come up with a formula for Moreno's level of play in relation to international appearances in this campaign. Enjoy the mathematical display.

A= Jaime "Abuelito" Moreno - Default Value of 10 (the highest value a player being input into the Moreno Equation can achieve)
n= Number of international appearances - Each appearance value of 1 (friendlies 0.5)
x= Level of play

A * n = x

Previous to Ireland Friendly 10 * 0 = 0

That is a bit harsh, let's add another variable, penalty kicks. p= Penalty kicks

New Moreno equation (A * n )+ p= x

(10 * 0) + 3 = 3

That's about right. Now let's apply the equation to Jaime after the friendly in the LA Galaxy and RBNY games.

(10 * 1 ) + 3 = 13

Considering what we have learned thus far we can now project how Jaime's call up for the Copa America will affect his MLS performance. We can guarantee at least 3 games in group play and let's say, worst case scenario, he only plays in 2.

(10 * 3) + 3 = 33

Best case scenario, Bolivia wins it all and Moreno plays in all the games.

(10 * 7) + 3 = 73

I haven't exactly decided what the level of play scale is, but if a 13 gets him playing like he did against RBNY, 33 or 73 would blow our minds. Vamos Bolivia!

Match 2.9 The Result: DCU v Red Bull New York 6-10-07 or the Atlantic Cup Leg 1

DCU 4 RBNY 2

My MFLS sacrifices have paid off (let it be known that I got rid of JP Angel and acquired Ben Olsen last Wednesday) and the soccer gods have answered my prayers. The previously impotent DC United offense made the New York defense conceive their babies today, which by my count makes Ben Olsen the proud father of triplets. Congratulations!!! My concerns about the strength of the New York defense were unfounded (must just be Chicago's low sperm count). DC United came out in form, playing strong on the wings and taking the danger out of the RBNY attack.

The most notable statistic of the game is that every one of the four goals were double assisted. That's teamwork. That's an organized attack. Except for the after goal breakdowns the defense looked strong even after losing Boswell to the double yellow. We beat the best team in the MLS and we made it look easy.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.9

1. Count em' up! That's 1, 2, 3 points
2. It wasn't necessarily stupid mistakes that gave up the goals, it was more the after goal mental lapses. Who can blame the entire team from going into paralysis after Ben Olsen scores a freaking hat trick?!
3. Luci got his much needed goal and looked dangerous on several occasions, beware future opponents.
4. Erpen did not score from distance, but he definitely played a major role in keeping JP Angel in check.

Dear Facu,

Great job out there today. Keep at it and the 30 yard bomb will come. You are still our favorite.

Love,

The Edgell Supporters

P.S. MLSnet credits you with a double/second assist or whatever you call that statistic. Way to go!

The Un-supported List, Part 1

As the designated "angry" supporter I have been asked to compile a list of our most disliked players. The more teams that United plays the more players will inevitably be added to the list but for now, here are the ol' faithfuls and a few reasons why.
Disclaimer: At this point, how good of a player you are matters far less than anything else (unless you score on us, at which point you're, assumed to be good, and almost gauranteed a spot).

MLS:
Hercules Gomez- its hard to really know why you wish harm to someone when you get nauseous at the mention of his name

Landon Donovan- he's a nerd. i hear the nerd alert siren everytime i see him and his perfectly tucked in shirt. he could learn a thing or two from ben olsen on how to talk to other players too...not best to point your finger in someones face.

Taylor "Twinkie" Twellman- nicknamed Twinkie, by an occasional Edgell Supporter, in honor of his yellow cleats. his celebration after every single goal is really what has sealed it for me.

Pablo Mastroeni- he erks us. and again, he plays for the crapids.

DISHONARBLE MENTION:
Thierry Henry -ew

Clint Dempsey- don't try to be a rapper! who do you think you are, shaq?

And just for good measure I'll add our least favorite, by far, of the commentators - Max Bretos. his partner is nearly mute, so he talks like a fool and looks it too when he thinks he's not on camera. thank heavens for sunday games on telefutura.

This list is not nearly what it should be...who are we missing?

Match 2.9 The Setup: DCU v Red Bull New York 6-10-07 or the Atlantic Cup Leg 1

I'm having difficulty forming my thoughts on the match this week. I really, really, really, really want to win. I feel a little sick inside though. JP Angel will punish us for our fondness of letting the ball bounce around in the box. Something else that keeps nagging at me is their defense. I believe they were two starters down against Chicago two weeks ago and still kept a clean sheet. Maybe Chicago can't finish, but maybe the Red Bull's defense was a brick wall. Probably a combination of both but still, that is worrisome. We don't need any help not scoring goals.

We can control the pace of the game and we can play decent defense minus our giveaways. The one thing we have not shown we are able to do is score. We will have to score this weekend in order to win because I am almost positive (94.5%) New York will. They like to score and they do it a lot (tied with KC for most goals in the MLS at 19). I think most of us fans, including me, have been so worried about the defensive depth and mistakes that we have overlooked our inability to score. We are allowed to score more than 2 goals in a game, I promise we are allowed to do that.

As a fan of the MLS I'm happy that this rivalry will be renewed, as a DC United fan I am worried that we will stop owning RBNY. Come on you black and red!

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.9

1. The full three points.
2. We give a goal away because RBNY earns it, not because we give something stupid away.
3. Luci gets his groove back.
4. Erpen scores from distance.

Why do I have to be so loyal? (MFLS Update Week 9)

My only experience in fantasy sports is with the NCAA Basketball Tournament, if that even counts as fantasy sports. I usually compete quite well for last place in the bracket pools because I always pick my favorite teams to win. I can't pick a team that I don't like or pick against a team I do like. This is one of the many reasons I don't gamble. It is so important to me that all faith be placed in the team I want to win. I don't want to show the sports gods that I am not fully committed to supporting my team. The happy ending to this story is that after years of picking the University of Florida they pull off two championships in a row and I destroy everyone in my brackets.


The MFLS is my first actual experience with fantasy sports. At first I tried to pick good players, paid attention every week and put forth my best effort to win our division (BobbyBoswell.com, I hope Bobby doesn't mind). But after 3 weeks I was down at least 75 points and second from the bottom of the table. Then I tried to get the latest, hottest players. I hit rock bottom when I bought JP Angel and I actually earned a bunch of points. I felt sinful and dirty inside. Something had to change.

This week I decided to only have players on my team that I like. That excludes all NE Revolution players and most of the other really good players in the league. At least now I can accumulate good karma and maybe the gods will look favorably upon me and my team. It is the least I can do to help DC United win, especially this week as we face the evil Red Bulls from New Jersey. Go Scorpions!

Soccer Saturday

Quite the busy soccer day yesterday.

11:30 AM - U14 PWSI Tidal Wave vs Fauquier County (Faquier County)

PWSI 6 Fauquier 0

We've got sunburns to prove we were there.

After chalking up 3 goals and an assist in the first half El Goleador rests in the shade.

1:45 PM - U18 PWSI Green Balls vs BRYC Good Team (Woodbridge)

BRYC 10 PWSI 2

We missed the first half but a sometimes Edgell Supporter associate is reported to have assisted on one of the two goals scored by PWSI. I also believe that the BRYC team was only playing with 7 players in order to make the game "competitive."

3:30 PM - Colorado Rapids vs TFC (MLS TV)

Colorado 1 TFC 2

Anytime the Rapids lose it is a good day. Unfortunately one of our least favorite MLSers (full list to come), Hercules Gomez, still scored.

5:30 PM - Brazil vs England (DVR fast forwarded)

Brazil 1 England 1

Eh.

7:00 PM - West Virginia Chaos vs NOVA FC Royals (Robinson Field GMU)

WV Chaos 0 NOVA Royals 2

First off, thanks to Quarter Volley for making us aware of the games. We meant to get to the Freedom vs Majestics game at 5:00 but couch delivery delays prevented us from doing so. Does anybody know who won?

The Royals controlled the pace throughout the first half and went up 1-nil. Then they came out flat in the second half which led to several Chaos attempts on goal but nothing the Royals couldn't handle. After several substitutions were made the Royals got their second wind and were able to seal the deal with a second goal.

The game was exciting and eventful. After suffering a hard tackle in the first half a Chaos player left the field at half on a stretcher in an ambulance.

We hope he is ok and thank him for the excitement. There was also quite a bit of scrappy and physical play which is the way I like my soccer. We quite enjoyed ourselves and we will probably go again. Maybe by then we can settle on our favorite players and refer to them by their appropriate names, not just nicknames and numbers (way to go #15 Leroy Chimbonda, #9 Bambi on Ice 2, and #18!).

I'm not sure what we were expecting but the level of play impressed us and the fans amused us. Quote of the event from what I would describe as the most vocal Majestics/Royals supporter in attendance:

In some sort of UK accent (I'm terrible at discerning between the accents) and I assume commenting on the Washington Freedom's keeper ,"Did anyone do a set test on that girl? Their keeper looked like Lurch from the Adam's Family."

Set test- (noun) a test performed to determine the gender of an individual by checking for male genitalia (at least that is what I gathered from context clues).

I almost forgot that we (when I say we I mean Dirty) finally got something that was thrown/kicked into the stands. Although it may have belonged to another spectator we (again it had nothing to do with me, it was Dirty) wrestled it away from them. We (and I do mean we, as much as I scream and wave my arms) never get that stuff at the United games. We like you Royals.

10:30 PM - DCU vs LAG (FSC)

DCU 0 LAG 0

See here for full review.

Match 2.8 The Result: DCU v LAG 6-2-07

DCU 0 LAG 0

Two teams looking for a draw found one. Both teams seemed content to go through the motions and earn a point. We had some rough spots in the first few minutes of play, luckily LA could not capitalize on our breakdowns. D at DCenters described it best:

"Also fortunate for DC was the fact that Nate Jaqua couldn't finish a croissant if you took two bites out of it for him, or United would have been down 2-nil early."

As the Edgell Supporters sat in the Lorton headquarters watching the game we made several observations. First, as good as Namoff is on the right side of the field he is equally terrible on the left. Thankfully we dropped Gros back and sent Namoff to where he belongs. Second, Fred is always there. He is picking up balls when others are losing them, he is getting open to be an outlet and he is always hustling for the loose ball. And lastly, we want Erpen to be our Valentine.

I am disappointed that we could not finish off a team that started hurt and slowly died throughout the game. We could have easily dismantled them with constant pressure but all we could muster was 10-15 minutes of good form in the second half. Hopefully we were just looking past LA to next week and forgot to prepare for this game because we will need the two weeks of preparation against RBNY.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.8

1. We got the clean sheet. I think we should thank Nate Jaqua for that more than anyone, but at least it proves it can be done.

2. I am not sure you can say that we did anything to the Galaxy. We kind of left each other alone.

3. Moreno is amazing on the ball. His touch is always right and he finds open spaces. Can we find him some fitness?

4. Facundo had a header that went towards the goal, the Galaxy's goal not ours.

Match 2.8 The Setup: DCU v Los Galacticos Angelinos 6-2-07

This is a blue collar week for DC United. We are not the best team in the East, we are no longer in danger of being the worst. This is when the long hard grind of the season begins. It is time for us to get to work. This week we face a Galaxy team that has played the fewest games in the league so I don't think we know exactly who they are yet. Based on what I have seen, I don't think they know who they are yet either. It is almost as if they are waiting for the arrival of Beckham before they define themselves.

It appears as though we might be without our usual starting defensive midfielder Brian Carroll (the same source also counts at least 8 players out for the Galaxy).

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.8

1. A clean sheet. It is time for our defense to shut down an opposing offense. Come on ya back line!
2. We exact revenge on los galacticos for the way they treated us last year.
3. Moreno's playing time is reduced. Hey, everybody is talking about it now.
4. Erpen scores from distance.

Jaime Moreno spotted in section 210

Contrary to what is being reported in most other places, Jaime Moreno was at the game yesterday. Apparently he told a lot of people that he got called up to play with the Bolivian National Team. He very well may have been called up but he definitely didn't go. As you can see from this picture (taken by the edgell supporters' photographer, also known as wifey), Abuelito Moreno was in section 210 at RFK yesterday. You can tell it is him because of the jersey and the gray hair. Remember, you read it here first.

Oh and one more thing, I believe Bobby Convey accompanied Moreno to the game. You would think these guys would keep a lower profile but they seem to always wear their jerseys in public. Weird.

Match 2.7 The Result: DCU v Dynamo Houston 5-26-07

United 2 Dynamo 1

Another win, the unbeaten streak is extended to four. The bad things about actually going to the game are that a) I can't see which player is doing what (mostly because I need to get new glasses) and b) I get so busy hating the refs for no real reason that all objectivity is lost. On to the one sided review. Gomito is back. He controlled the middle of the pitch and our wing play bought him more space to work with. His set piece goal in the fourth minute was important for his confidence and his assist to Benny sealed the Gomez revival. Houston looked unorganized and frustrated evidenced by their bad passes and molestation of our strikers. Ching could not hit a quality header to save his life. Houston played their usual game and controlled most of the second half. Perkins' PK denial was almost as amazing as his goal post kicking celebration. DeRo was frustrated most of the game (I think he was carded for dissent perhaps it was for whining) and only scored because Fred and Gros jumped past him in some sort of synchronized gymnastic display. All in all not a bad performance by United, now if we can just string together two good halves in one game.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.7:
1. The passion was definitely there in the first half. You would think after leading by the most dangerous spread in soccer (2-0) they would step up the pressure in the second half but we almost let Houston back into the game.
2. Benny got a goal and guess what... IT WAS IN THE RUN OF PLAY!!! AMAZING!
3. My voice was damaged by the celebration of the first goal but it was destroyed by booing for the no call on Kpene in the box.
4. Erpen did not get a goal but he did get a bicycle which almost cost us a penalty. Way to go Facundo. He actually had a very good match and cleared the ball very well. I love you Facundo.

Pictures from the match still to come including a Moreno spotting.

Explanation of the Edgell Numbering Scheme and piracy isn't all fun and adventure

Q: Why do The Edgell Supporters use such an oddly fantastic match numbering system? (Pheidippides, Greece)

A: Dear Feety Peedies, thanks for your interest and loyal readership. The Edgell Supporters number the matches based on our MLS DC United experience. This is our second season of support so all the matches for this season will be prefaced with a 2, next season with a 3, and so on until the end of time. The second number is not nearly as exciting as it is merely the sequential order of regular season MLS matches. Again, thanks for the question and please encourage your other friends to criticize and comment as they please.

Due to a recent shortage of rocket sauce within the DC United realm we have done a little research as to what might be causing the problem. Luckily one of our dear friends is already on the case and has issued the following public service announcement.

Match 2.7 The Setup: DCU v Dynamo Houston 5-26-07 or The Clash of the Teams That Played in CONCACAF and Could Not Get Their Act Together

I am by no means a euro soccer snob, in fact I follow the MLS much closer than I follow any other league but the MLS names need some work. In my effort to change some of the names you will see that the Houston Dynamo is listed as Dynamo Houston in the title above. All I want are some small simple changes like SC's instead of FC's and some city names before the mascots or whatever you call them. Red Bull New York sounds much better than New York Red Bulls (that is if it were possible for their name to sound "good"). Anyway, back to the matter at hand the clash of CONCACAF qualifiers... the two best teams in the MLS last season. On to the preview:

Dwayne De Rosario got a haircut. I was never a big fan of the braids. He kind of looked like Alicia Keys with a beard.

In other DeRo news, I have him on my MFLS team and all he does is give me negative points. (editor's note: the author has since transferred DeRo for Onstad) Having watched several Houston games, including the game last Saturday against the Revolution, I have come to the conclusion that they are DC United without the PKs and set piece goals. They usually control the game and have a few good chances, but they can't put anything in the net. Much like United they give up goals in the run of play and just can't get dangerous enough to get any points. Let's hope that they continue with this trend on Saturday. United is looking to continue their 3 game unbeaten streak but this time without MLS record tier Jaime Moreno. I would classify myself as a Moreno naysayer but I think we will miss him more than I want us to this week. The only lineup change I see is Kpene or Addlery starting for Moreno both of which can bring the rocket sauce to a struggling Houston team.

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.7:

1. Soehn sufficiently scared the starters a few weeks ago so they will still play with passion (Brian Carroll that means you, Moreno is off the hook this week).

2. We learn how to score in the run of play and subsequently apply said learning on the pitch this Saturday.

3. I don't lose my voice from yelling at the refs but from celebrating our multiple goals.

4. Erpen scores from distance.

Match 2.6 The Result: DCU v TFC 5-19-07

A win is a win. The first half was usual 2007 United play, we control the ball, never look dangerous, and we give up a goal because we don't clear the ball. Namoff as usual was great on defense and creative on offense. The second half was a bit of a different story. We started to look dangerous and take control of the game. Kpene is dangerous, every time he touches the ball it looks as though he might score or create for someone else to score. Moreno has shown that he should come into the game after the 60th because that is when he likes to actually start playing. He even played impressive defense late in the game and made an effort at 50/50 balls. This game still left me wondering if we will ever learn how to score in the run of play.

Facts and Reality for Match 2.6

1. Erpen almost got himself double-yellowed out of the game while still managing to get a bicycle kick in.

2. Gomez had a genuine smile on his face at one point during the game. The assumption is that his lover at least texted him some time during the last two weeks.

3. Emilio gets more phantom fouls called against him than any other player I have seen. Maybe the refs just don't like his taste in music.

4. Abuelito Moreno started playing at about the 60th which I guess is about the same as coming in the game at that time. Congratulations on the goal and tying the record. Now you should do the right thing and tell Soehn to start Kpene over you.

Wax On, Namoff

DCenters recognized the omission of Bryan Namoff's name from the all-star ballot and subsequently called for an arts and crafts campaign to add his name. Soccer Insider notified the authorities and got Bryan's name on the all-star ballot. I am disappointed that I did not get to exercise my artistic abilities on Bryan's behalf but I would still like to honor him today.

This is the second season that I have been a DC United fan and it also marks the second season that I have been worried about DC United's wing play (until very recently with Fred on the outside). The only bright spot that I have seen in the last two seasons on the wing has come from the back when Bryan Namoff ventures across midfield. He is fast out on the flank and I dare say even creative. Maybe creative is going a bit far but his play is definitely unexpected, which for the time being passes as creative for DC United. One of my chief complaints with the MLS since I started watching last year is the lack of quality crosses. The complaining turns into frustration when it comes to DC United. On a team that can rarely put a good ball across the box Namoff has definitely been a ray of hope. Since Soehn made the decision to go to a four man back I have been excited to see what new freedom this will give Namoff to push up and show us what he's got. Bryan, show us how creative you can be and punish those Canadian upstarts tomorrow.

Match 2.6 The Setup: DCU v TFC 5-19-07 or Fried Chicken Battle Royale

VS.

I am trying to get past the fact that every time I hear or see "TFC" I think of KFC which makes me think of a friend of mine that loves fried chicken although he prefers Popeye's. With the whole fried chicken relationship skewing my view of the team from our friendly neighbor to the north, I had a hard time taking them seriously. In my head 11 Colonel Sanders in the TFC kit looked pretty ridiculous. Last weekend my ridicule turned to jealousy as I saw the Frisbee/seat cushions litter the stadium. It was like a real soccer atmosphere in a real soccer stadium. Then TFC picked up their second win beating Houston last night leaving the Black and Red alone in the Eastern Conference basement. The ridicule and jealousy has now turned into a slight irritation.

I am pulling for Toronto this season but obviously not this week. My Popeye's loving friend is a DCU supporter so this week it will be Popeye's United v Toronto Fried Chicken.

Hopes and Dreams for Match 2.6
1. Erpen scores from distance
2. Gomito's lover comes back to him and cures what ever is ailing him
3. Emilio gets back on his scoring track
4. Abuelito Moreno does not come in until the 60th

In an effort to increase love in the universe here is what I like about TFC:

Danny "Mike Tyson" Dichio just looks like a bad mother and from what I have seen he plays like one too. I love hustlers.

Esky we hardly knew ye and thus far we still love you. I want to see you score and score a lot, just not this week, ok?

Guilty Pleasures 2.1 or my ESPN does not work, give me a break!

when i have extra time in the morning my wife and i usually watch sportscenter on ESPN. we like to catch scott van pelt dropping tenacious d references or the dry wit of neil everett (these two are by far our favorite anchor team). on this particular morning i had about 20 minutes before i had to get ready for work. i turned on the tv and dialed up ESPN to watch sportscenter. it turns out that COX, our ever-reliable cable provider, would not grace us with ESPN this morning. it was not simply a blank screen but it gave us the "you have not bought this channel, call us at 1-800-COX to order ESPN" message. on a separate note, COX has been turning off our cable box at random times to keep things exciting. this is a special service you can get FOR FREE, but only from COX. it gets really fun and crazy when you are trying to watch a DCU v. Chicago Fire game and the cable box goes out right before your team gets scored on. anyway, COX is not a guilty pleasure it is merely guilty.

so ESPN was not working and i needed to watch something for the next 20 minutes. i flipped through the channels and found what i was looking for.

it brought back (full disclosure: i freudian slipped the first time i typed this and wrote 'broke back' instead of 'brought back' by mistake, oops) a lot of good memories. early 90's fashion was so awesome. i think that i will start wearing my suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up. i love suits, but now i can really tailor them to fit my fashion sense.

i sure hope that zack and kelly end up together. in the episode this morning they decided to date other people. what that really meant was that zack was trying to get with the new nurse, but then she tricked him into wanting kelly back. but it was too late, damn that melvin nerdly!

who knew that a true friend would have told AC Slater when he was really not that great on KATY, Bayside High School's radio station, instead of letting him read it in the school paper? i was not able to finish the second episode that came on, but i sure hope that they can save the Max from being turned into a parking lot.

if, and only if, your ESPN is not working check out TBS in the morning.

who is hallam foe?

as i have discussed previously, i am a sucker for coming of age stories. there is a new movie coming out by director david mackenzie called HALLAM FOE. from my limited interaction with a sort of production turned marketing blog and hallam's myspace (which is kind of cool that he has a spot on "the porch" in character) it appears to be a darker coming of age story. i like dark. dark seems real. maybe that's just pessimism, but i tend to learn more from the dark. the best description i have found of what i think the movie will be like is at gapingvoid. hugh at gaping void spent some time living with the director when they were younger. their experience, i believe, directly feeds the movie:

This summer was the first time for both of us being on our own without family or adult supervision, making money and let's say [cough], meeting women. Proper women, not schoolgirls. Up until this time, we'd both had girlfriends and all, but this was when we both started... how do you say... climbing up the sexual learning curve by having experiences with older women. Which, believe me, was a totally different scene from dating the respectable young "gells" from Edinburgh's finest private schools, which had up till then been our only experience with the fairer sex.

And this vibe is what Hallam Foe is about. Forget the plot details, Hallam Foe leaves home and starts having experiencing older women, in the Biblical sense. That's what the movie is really about. Coming-of-Age for boys is a very paradoxical phase of life. We're still kids, and yet, we're not. And for Dave and myself, it was these rather random, strangely existential experiences with older women who ushered us through that phase.

go to gapingvoid to read the rest of this post. it is really quite interesting. i will continue to follow hallam foe's path. i would really like to get to know who he is. at the very least i know he is the kid from billy elliot, so it cannot be all bad.

Real Suck Lake's Jeff Cunningham

as the DC United v. Real Salt Lake game approaches, i thought it appropriate to spotlight one of the bad guys. as if we needed any more fuel, this should add a little more to saturday's fire (no not chicago's fire, let's not speak of them right now).

Dear MLS and American sports fans,

"I have no problems with anything that's been said of me. It's been said all my career. I think people fancy me. They can't figure me out. I'm an attractive guy. I make good money and I score goals. I'm the kind of guy I believe people love. And, at the same time, they can't figure out why they love me so much, so they decide to hate me." (rest of the article, read up Ackerman)

Delusionaly yours,

JC

it is almost as if Jeff thinks there are not enough T.O.s in American futbol. i do not know about you guys but the reason i hate him is because i loved him too much and i could not for the life of me figure out why.

(thanks to kali for bringing this to my attention and i hope you will not be too humiliated by losing to our reserve team on saturday).

Hustle and Putt

I am not a golfer. In the past I have been know to refer to the game of golf as "a rich white man's sport." At my current place of employment, upper management has made a recent habit of putting in the hallways. Last week when the power went out (which it tends to do on a monthly basis) they set up a 25 foot putting competition. I watched as each of my colleagues grossly over or under estimated their putting attempts. One fellow's closest attempt hit a kind lady in the foot about 10 feet behind the putting cup. My associates taunted me and offered me the putter. I politely declined each offer. I do not mind embarrassing myself on the internet, but at work I try to maintain a certain cool composure. All of these men are golf guys. You know the kind, various golf memorabilia on their office walls. You can catch them actually watching the PGA tournaments on their computers at work. These guys dedicate spring/summer/fall weekends to improving their "short game" (whatever that means). I did not have a chance against them. I have not even played miniature golf in over a year. Their incessant badgering and peer pressure finally worked. I stepped on to the "green" (actually a weird like navy blue checked brown carpet, you know, like office carpet always looks).

I decided to get it over with quickly so I teed up and took my first stroke with no practice swing. The ball gently rolled towards the cup and IT WENT IN! Surely this was beginner's luck. BUT NO! I went on to sink 4 out of 5 putts. I was easily the best putter in the building. My associates were amazed and worried about me hustling them in a variety of other activities. Who knew that a simple task such as putting could strike fear into the hearts of men? Men do not like to have an inferior beat them at their own game (see also: Saturday Soccer Matches). I do already have the putting game down, how hard can the rest of it be? I will just practice up on my "short game" and I should be destroying my work mates on the links in no time.

I already have the "white man" part down, perhaps the "rich" part only comes after playing the sport. I am definitely willing to find out.

Gypsy Punk Cabaret

Presenting, Gogol Bordello with front man Eugene Hutz in Start Wearing Purple.

I urge you to see the movie Everything is Illuminated. Mr. Hutz provides us with one of the funniest and most endearing performances of all time. You will not be disappointed. Elijah Woods takes the lead and does pretty well himself. Not only is it funny, but also enlightening and touching. Go rent it! Now!

Guilty Pleasures 2.0 or The New Equation

"Why do you look so familiar? I could swear that I have seen your face before. I think I like that you seem sincere. I think I would like to get to know you a little bit more," said Avril (in her song Who Knows on her album Under My Skin). I replied sincerely, "I probably look so familiar because I am usually rocking with you while I sweat and pant along my way at speed 5.2 incline 3.0. I am not sure why I have to tell the world these things but an open world is a loving world right? It is all out there and it is all true. Just love me for who I am. Maybe we would all look more familiar if we shared these things with each other, right?

Dear Ackerman, Why was RSL able to beat DC United?

maybe it was because we were tired of winning, ever think of that? i mean come on, you can only dominate so long before it gets boring. or maybe it was because RSL plays on the WORST athletic field in the known universe. seriously it's barely astro turf, it is like the green stuff underneath the fruits and vegetables in the grocery store. how can any self respecting soccer team be expected to know how to play a game meant for grass on worn mormon church carpet? and seriously, how can you call a win from penalty shots a win? that's cheap and unmanly. bring something besides cunningham to the field next time and maybe we won't feel sorry for you and let you win on penalty kicks.

now, i hope you have noticed what we have been working on since we graciously allowed RSL to chalk up their 6th win on the season. we have been quite busy making ourselves a world soccer power. we made up 8 of the 18 member all star squad (including Facundo Erpen who at the last minute had to replace the sole RSL allstar eddie pope because he is old) that handed premiership champion chelsea a 1-0 defeat. we then went on to tie La Liga power Real Madrid, which took care of RSL with no problem. did you see the united play Real Madrid? in the first half we looked AMAZING!

anyway, that's why you were able to beat us. you will not be so lucky next time.

Until September 9th!

one more thing, how was rice eccles able to come up with real grass for the Real Madrid game? that is unacceptable.

death behind their eyes

it is not an exclusive club. they are the humans that wake up each day to do the same thing. at one time they were full of dreams and hope. there were moments of sheer brilliance and creativity. they were angry about injustices or maybe just angry enough to do something. they were committed enough to take part in things that were not logical or part of the prescribed remedy. the prescribed remedy for life. simply a path to take until death do they part. i do not make a habit of looking at myself in the mirror very often. i am not sure why, but i do not like to do it. recently i have caught my eyes in the mirror. obviously being attached to my face these have to be my eyes. but i know my eyes and they have life behind them, the eyes i have been seeing in the mirror do not.

moses has started to share a story about one of these individuals. read about frank or the spirit of frank (the story starts on 7-26-06).

last night's storm

even for the locals it was a hot sweltering day. we were huddled together in what seemed to be a church or a school. maybe it was a school, used as a church on the weekends. there were about ten of us trying to avoid the next explosion crashing into the building. the philippines had erupted in civil war a week or so before and we were on the run. our attackers' weapon of choice were quarter-sized explosives that were launched from sling shots.

glass shattered and spread across the room as yet another "quarter" shot through the window. we tried to escape but unfortunately several of our group did not dive out of the way in time.

there were only five of us left: momma e, moses, banana, andec, and myself. we had lost five other family members throughout the morning. after several failed attempts, we finally made our way outside to the cars. we piled into my car and moses followed in a circa 1974 lincoln towncar. as we tore through the dirt roads we aimed for any pedestrian we could see. at this point, everyone was an enemy. we arrived at a beachside resort that was much too fancy for our ragged clothes and mud stained skin. nobody seemed to care about our desperate pleas for help. even an american soldier was among the guests and he had but few encouraging words for us. the roads were blocked off in every direction with military and militia fighting for ground. for some reason none of us thought to contact the american embassy.

this dream brought to you by a predawn thunderstorm, lebanese and israeli blogs, driving by a catholic school last weekend, and an active imagination.

free to a good home

frequently in my place of employment there are items placed on the table in the break room. these items are usually identified with a note indicating, "free to a good home." yesterday as i came into work i noticed there were new items on the table. it appeared as though someone brought in their old cds that they could not sell on half.com or any other respectable website. my elitist streak defeated my curiosity as each time i passed the table i declined its open offer to take one of these albums and make it my own. what would i want in this pile of has been popular music? the stack of cds slowly disappeared throughout the day. by this morning there was only one album left. now i did not have to rummage through them, i could plainly see what i had been neglecting; the sign by ace of base. normally i would not have paid any attention to this particular album but today was different. last week was a nostalgia ridden, emotion filled week. i might have been driving in my car and a particular hit song from 1993 might have come on the radio. i might have turned up the volume and there is a slight chance that i sang along. i mean... come on...who wouldn't. after all, all that she wants is another baby, uh ah ah. so here i sit at my computer, right down the hall from this cd that i totally kind of want to listen to. it is FREE to a good home. i am positive i could provide acceptable accommodations for this swedish pop. on the other hand, there is no way that i could allow my associates to see me take an ace of base album. i really would like to listen to a couple songs on there though. is it really this hard? maybe if i can kind of hang around in the break room i will have a chance to quickly place it in my pocket. will a cd jewel case fit in my pocket? seriously, it is ACE OF BASE, i will NOT take it. the frustration! maybe my wife has the cd, i bet she does. how lame, who listens to ace of base?!

d, do you have that album? shhhh.. do not say a word to anyone about this.

what don't you do?

"hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love"
"I am Cee-Lo. I am a humble trumpet, and the wind of God blows through me."
-found on the Gnarls Barkley website

if you have not experienced the soul machine you should take a moment from your day and visit him. luckily gnarls barkley has successfully brought him into the public again (any popular radio station will introduce you). cee lo green has the most amazing southern soulful voice i have ever heard. what he does with his vocal cords are what all good singers should do. stop holding it back, let it go, wail. let us know how you feel. let the wind of god blow through you.

and the devil is six, and the devil is 6

six years have passed. nothing has changed. the characters, the plot, and the setting are still quite intact. six years ago my father passed. this time of year usually catches me by surprise because it is not a date i keep in my calendar nor do i care to remember. i have tried so hard that i do not know the exact date that it happened. this year i was reminded a week in advance by a well-meaning associate. a word to the well-meaning, keep your good intentions to yourself. instead of dealing with this on the day of or the day after, i have an entire week to anticipate its arrival. in an odd attempt to pay tribute to the dead, each year i google my father. this year's search yielded two pieces of the web that i feel are worth sharing. every year i find articles detailing my father's induction into the military intelligence corps hall of fame. this year i found an article that names the inductees, shares a short bio (you will find my father's at the bottom of the first page), and can be understood by civilians. the other piece is a little more disturbing. the night my father died a young man attempted to resuscitate him. the young man detailed his experience in a letter to the boy scouts heroism award review board (this award was presented to ethan in february 2001). it is not easy to read and there are details that i never knew before. feel free to shed a few tears with me this day as you read.

god rest his soul
Douglas Clyde Edgell
May 11, 1955 - the last few days of July 2000

laying on the floor unfed, and evicted

a tale of ecstasy and boy loving

As a rule I am not bothered by inebriated folk, many times I enjoy their presence and company. I am especially understanding when I enter their environment (see: bar, club, bbq, dc united v. celtic game). I understand why people drink to excess and why they are so friendly. I do not however understand why an intoxicated male would show his body parts (chest- with special presentation of the nipples, private area- although I turned my head so I cannot be sure what was shown) to another male repeatedly. All visible clues told the story of young heterosexual interns on the hill looking to have a good time. He and his friend looked as though they might be attempting to relive some of their days as fraternity brothers. Their actions however spun a tale of ecstasy (possibly the drug) and boy loving. I can understand an ironic flash of the male chest to another male in an attempt of humor, but the repeated tapping of the shoulder to make sure I was aware of what he was showing me was bothersome. I was at the club trying to show my wife her first taste of small club live music and unfortunately we were met with these nudie boys. Fortunately, after successfully ignoring them they proceeded to touch upon one another. I think they found what they were looking for. Maybe if my wife was not there with me the story would have had a much different (better, more flaming) ending.

Oh and the drive by truckers did what they do best. They did it so well that we had to leave early to tend to the casualties of the evening.

a blessing and a curse

the new album is out. they are still rocking, albeit in a different way. the album has taken a little longer to grow on me but it is definitely making its way into my heart. a little more power pop and a little less south. all hail the greatest rock band on the planet!

Strong Enough for a Man, PH Balanced for a Woman

Secrets... who do you tell your secrets to? Do you tell anyone your secrets? I am sure most of you have visited POST SECRET but if not, check it out. Very interesting and touching. This is both sharing and caring. Consider THIS a formal invitation to attend an event they are having in Alexandria, VA. Let me know if you are in and we will share and care together.

The Unbinding

I recently read the novel Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn and thoroughly enjoyed it. Before reading the book I also watched the movie by the same title which was equally enjoyable. The story is about a kid growing up in the 80's and his struggle with obsession/addiction. Topics covered include: religion (mormonism), chemical substance, herbal substance, thumbsucking, performance recognition, and more. I cannot vouch for the artistic quality of either because of my disclaimer below, but what I will do is extend an invitation to you. Walter Kirn is currently providing the world with a biweekly installment online novel for free. Will you read Walter Kirn's The Unbinding twice a week and then tell me what you think? Will you?

DISCLAIMER: I am a sucker for coming of age/adolescent life books, movies, and even music. We need not theorize as to why I am so interested in this genre, that could get ugly and embarrassing for the both of us. So back to being a sucker... the problem with being a sucker for anything is that you become a poor judge of quality. I want to think that I can enjoy something and still be a decent judge of quality so I need your help. Please accept my invitation above.

PHD Lifestyle

GO GATORS!!! It's great to be a FLORIDA GATOR! What a great day it was. They came in and took care of business. They played like dogs. Brought out their PHD style of play. Poor, hungry, and driven. Joakim even looks like a poor, hungry, and driven Jesus Lizard (credit due- bshiz). Speaking of PHD, shouldn't we all live that lifestyle a little more? I really should start to live like I am poor, hungry, and driven to fulfill those basic life needs. There is one problem though, I am wealthy, well-fed, and there is no drive to fulfill basic life needs because I, quite honestly, have arrived. I have no need for this so called dog-like, hunter gatherer lifestyle. It would be dishonest of me to live a PHD lifestyle. GO GATORS!!!

Dear UF Gators,

Do not let the fact that nobody watched the game get you down. Let us be honest with one another, you made UCLA look like a junior high school girl's mathletes team, it just was not that exciting to watch. Unless of course you are watching your lifetime lover (and friend... you know ursher, john, and luda had to do it again) win their first tournament, which I was, in which case it was a terrific display of manliness and athleticism. I will be dreaming of you tonight and doing the GATOR CHOMP. I love you.

Love,

bean jah

merry christmas

No, not happy holidays... MERRY CHRISTMAS! This winter (which according to the calendar does not start for another 4 days, but I think everyone can agree that snow=winter, unless of course you live in utah, in which case it can snow in any season... not sure all of this should have gone in parenthesis but I am sure you will get over it) has brought cold and hibernation like any other. Natural instincts to grow more hair and eat more to stay warm have slowly overtaken my daily activities. There has to be a way to exercise during the winter. Any ideas? Let me know because heaven knows I cannot gain all the weight back that I have been working so hard to lose. Speaking of Christmas, there are some great posts on the holiday on this blog that I have been reading lately. Looking at Christmas, it's traditions, and it's media spawn from a different perspective.

ENG 320

Moments after emerging from the birth canal, I was given a label, a label by which I am still known to this day. That label is Benjamin Edgell. Much like this label, which I took no part in choosing, other labels are applied to me each day. Some of my current labels are newlywed, procurement manager for Lockheed Martin, Accounting Major at Strayer University, and music participant.

I have a great interest in applying labels to other people and the things around me through writing. Affixing labels to the things around me allows me to understand them more fully. In this course I would like to take the time necessary to explore my labeling rather than hurrying through the task merely to achieve the approval of a professor. I would like to learn to write for personal enjoyment and expression.

Interesting Study

There is an interesting study going on currently that you might want to keep an eye on. A colleague of mine has begun research on an interesting species in Provo, Utah.

category 2

I am not in the office due to tropical storm Katrina. I will check my e-mail if at all possible.

Thanks, Rob

random

i am bothered by those who call completely logical events 'random' and i say enough already! few events, if any, are random and even fewer people are random. autumn is back and so is the soul. does anybody read or write out here anymore? let's talk again friends.

some like it hot

every winter i trick myself into believing that i like warm weather better, but then god throws me a day like this. 200 degrees and it feels like 300, Celsius and Fahrenheit, what do i care. i really do like cold weather better. as a colleague of mine stated, at least in the winter you can put on more and more clothes until you obtain a satisfactory level of warmth, in the summer you can only get down to nothing, then you still die from the heat. the problem with winter is the sunlight. we have got to solve the problem of daylight during winter. i cannot do darkness, it eats at me. makes me nuts.

slightly shifted

i woke up yesterday and everything had changed, not some great 180 degree turn but a slight shift. people at work showed up 21 minutes late. my boss called to say he was coming in late and i swear i heard video games in the background. he did not come into work until 1:43 PM. they are doing construction in my building so everything is still in the building but in a different location. as i have recently been married, new things are all over my living area. i share a bed with someone... every night. even my work area feels as though someone shifted everything slightly to the left. it seems as everyone has new feelings for or against other people as well. none of my relationships seem the same as they were last week. they've all shifted slightly for the better or for the worse. nothing is constant. these events would not even be worthy of publishing except for the fact that the same things happened today. who shows up 21 minutes late to work? 5 or 10 i can understand, i can even deal with 1 or 2 hours, but 21 minutes?! seems as though life itself is screwing with me.

a cackle

i escaped the hibernation. 15% of unneccessary hibernation weight has been shed and i'm ready for warmth. welcome back you say? well thanks. it is good to be back. surprise of surprises tis eventide. i have made the decision to allow a member of the female species to enter my life for good. she will have several functions, like a lion she will be used for gathering food and like most species she will be used for the creation of an entire revolt of militantslaves. oh? what was that? a revolt is like a pod or a murder or any other cool name for a group of things. like a stack or a platoon. i hear that congratulations are in order. well thanks...