Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I feel a blog coming on... "Not in my kitchen, you don't!"

I am a terribly clever person. I am quite frankly one of the funniest people to ever walk the face of this earth. I swear to you that as I get older my level of hilarity continues to grow. Regardless of these facts and a resume chock full of humorous milestones, there is one person that will never get me. A person very near and dear to me. My very own mother. In recent days I have observed her behavior as I deal card after comical card from my stacked deck. TO NO AVAIL! I always get one of two responses, both of which I find undesirable.
1. The Silent Treatment- She completely ignores that I have split the sides of every human within earshot. She goes on with conversation and whatever else she is doing. This EVEN happens when it is just the two of us talking. I will be in the process of making the funniest and most sarcastic comments that even I have ever heard and she just skips right over them. It's as if she has some sort of chip in her mind that allows her to skip over hilarious content.
2. Bewilderment- You're not going to believe this response. She actually has the nerve to ask me if I'm serious. Part of my humor lies in the extreme nature thereof. Completely false and off the wall statement. THAT IS PURE COMIC GENIUS! And my dear sweet mother asks me questions such as, "When did that happen?" or "Is she ok?" or "Why did you hurt that poor girl with an inkpen AGAIN?" She just doesn't get it.

I am funny, I really am.

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