there always comes a time of year when warmth is not taken for granted. weeks have been spent awaiting the arrival of the leaves on the tree, but i look up and i've missed the whole thing. for every new lonely leaf there is three drops of blood. happiness is betrayed by loneliness. i've been here several times before and it wasn't a dream. strands of spider web seem to be touching my face throughout the day and small beetles crawl on every edge.
do you ever feel like you are constantly waking up into a different life? everything has changed from the day before. each week is marked by those immediate and sudden changes of character that scare you when they manifest themselves. these are not necessarily negative things, in fact quite the opposite. you wake up into a life where you are happy, you understand the people around you, and you grasp those things that seemed impossible last night. the new night brings fear because... what if you wake up in someone else tomorrow?
13 Nov 2003
turn up the sound
its the only thing that interrupts
the silent conductor to my mind
the air is too thick for me to breath
but you have no problem
taking away my last gasp