15. Is BALD (or was... you change your hair so much I don't know anymore)
14. Has a beard
13. Has RED hair
12. doesn't dress like a real ninja/pirate
13. Is really an ass pirate
10. Likes the new Cure album
9. Didn't come to Florida this year
8. Is obessed with "danger zones"
7. Is a closet redneck
6. But a very intelligent closet redneck
5. Communists suck
4. Has alien children (out of wedlock!!!!)
3. speaks spanglish (japanese is better!)
2. Pitties the fool
1. Did I mention he's a red head??
Contributed by MooFoo