Guilty Pleasures 2.0 or The New Equation

"Why do you look so familiar? I could swear that I have seen your face before. I think I like that you seem sincere. I think I would like to get to know you a little bit more," said Avril (in her song Who Knows on her album Under My Skin). I replied sincerely, "I probably look so familiar because I am usually rocking with you while I sweat and pant along my way at speed 5.2 incline 3.0. I am not sure why I have to tell the world these things but an open world is a loving world right? It is all out there and it is all true. Just love me for who I am. Maybe we would all look more familiar if we shared these things with each other, right?

Dear Ackerman, Why was RSL able to beat DC United?

maybe it was because we were tired of winning, ever think of that? i mean come on, you can only dominate so long before it gets boring. or maybe it was because RSL plays on the WORST athletic field in the known universe. seriously it's barely astro turf, it is like the green stuff underneath the fruits and vegetables in the grocery store. how can any self respecting soccer team be expected to know how to play a game meant for grass on worn mormon church carpet? and seriously, how can you call a win from penalty shots a win? that's cheap and unmanly. bring something besides cunningham to the field next time and maybe we won't feel sorry for you and let you win on penalty kicks.

now, i hope you have noticed what we have been working on since we graciously allowed RSL to chalk up their 6th win on the season. we have been quite busy making ourselves a world soccer power. we made up 8 of the 18 member all star squad (including Facundo Erpen who at the last minute had to replace the sole RSL allstar eddie pope because he is old) that handed premiership champion chelsea a 1-0 defeat. we then went on to tie La Liga power Real Madrid, which took care of RSL with no problem. did you see the united play Real Madrid? in the first half we looked AMAZING!

anyway, that's why you were able to beat us. you will not be so lucky next time.

Until September 9th!

one more thing, how was rice eccles able to come up with real grass for the Real Madrid game? that is unacceptable.

death behind their eyes

it is not an exclusive club. they are the humans that wake up each day to do the same thing. at one time they were full of dreams and hope. there were moments of sheer brilliance and creativity. they were angry about injustices or maybe just angry enough to do something. they were committed enough to take part in things that were not logical or part of the prescribed remedy. the prescribed remedy for life. simply a path to take until death do they part. i do not make a habit of looking at myself in the mirror very often. i am not sure why, but i do not like to do it. recently i have caught my eyes in the mirror. obviously being attached to my face these have to be my eyes. but i know my eyes and they have life behind them, the eyes i have been seeing in the mirror do not.

moses has started to share a story about one of these individuals. read about frank or the spirit of frank (the story starts on 7-26-06).

last night's storm

even for the locals it was a hot sweltering day. we were huddled together in what seemed to be a church or a school. maybe it was a school, used as a church on the weekends. there were about ten of us trying to avoid the next explosion crashing into the building. the philippines had erupted in civil war a week or so before and we were on the run. our attackers' weapon of choice were quarter-sized explosives that were launched from sling shots.

glass shattered and spread across the room as yet another "quarter" shot through the window. we tried to escape but unfortunately several of our group did not dive out of the way in time.

there were only five of us left: momma e, moses, banana, andec, and myself. we had lost five other family members throughout the morning. after several failed attempts, we finally made our way outside to the cars. we piled into my car and moses followed in a circa 1974 lincoln towncar. as we tore through the dirt roads we aimed for any pedestrian we could see. at this point, everyone was an enemy. we arrived at a beachside resort that was much too fancy for our ragged clothes and mud stained skin. nobody seemed to care about our desperate pleas for help. even an american soldier was among the guests and he had but few encouraging words for us. the roads were blocked off in every direction with military and militia fighting for ground. for some reason none of us thought to contact the american embassy.

this dream brought to you by a predawn thunderstorm, lebanese and israeli blogs, driving by a catholic school last weekend, and an active imagination.

free to a good home

frequently in my place of employment there are items placed on the table in the break room. these items are usually identified with a note indicating, "free to a good home." yesterday as i came into work i noticed there were new items on the table. it appeared as though someone brought in their old cds that they could not sell on half.com or any other respectable website. my elitist streak defeated my curiosity as each time i passed the table i declined its open offer to take one of these albums and make it my own. what would i want in this pile of has been popular music? the stack of cds slowly disappeared throughout the day. by this morning there was only one album left. now i did not have to rummage through them, i could plainly see what i had been neglecting; the sign by ace of base. normally i would not have paid any attention to this particular album but today was different. last week was a nostalgia ridden, emotion filled week. i might have been driving in my car and a particular hit song from 1993 might have come on the radio. i might have turned up the volume and there is a slight chance that i sang along. i mean... come on...who wouldn't. after all, all that she wants is another baby, uh ah ah. so here i sit at my computer, right down the hall from this cd that i totally kind of want to listen to. it is FREE to a good home. i am positive i could provide acceptable accommodations for this swedish pop. on the other hand, there is no way that i could allow my associates to see me take an ace of base album. i really would like to listen to a couple songs on there though. is it really this hard? maybe if i can kind of hang around in the break room i will have a chance to quickly place it in my pocket. will a cd jewel case fit in my pocket? seriously, it is ACE OF BASE, i will NOT take it. the frustration! maybe my wife has the cd, i bet she does. how lame, who listens to ace of base?!

d, do you have that album? shhhh.. do not say a word to anyone about this.

what don't you do?

"hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love"
"I am Cee-Lo. I am a humble trumpet, and the wind of God blows through me."
-found on the Gnarls Barkley website

if you have not experienced the soul machine you should take a moment from your day and visit him. luckily gnarls barkley has successfully brought him into the public again (any popular radio station will introduce you). cee lo green has the most amazing southern soulful voice i have ever heard. what he does with his vocal cords are what all good singers should do. stop holding it back, let it go, wail. let us know how you feel. let the wind of god blow through you.

and the devil is six, and the devil is 6

six years have passed. nothing has changed. the characters, the plot, and the setting are still quite intact. six years ago my father passed. this time of year usually catches me by surprise because it is not a date i keep in my calendar nor do i care to remember. i have tried so hard that i do not know the exact date that it happened. this year i was reminded a week in advance by a well-meaning associate. a word to the well-meaning, keep your good intentions to yourself. instead of dealing with this on the day of or the day after, i have an entire week to anticipate its arrival. in an odd attempt to pay tribute to the dead, each year i google my father. this year's search yielded two pieces of the web that i feel are worth sharing. every year i find articles detailing my father's induction into the military intelligence corps hall of fame. this year i found an article that names the inductees, shares a short bio (you will find my father's at the bottom of the first page), and can be understood by civilians. the other piece is a little more disturbing. the night my father died a young man attempted to resuscitate him. the young man detailed his experience in a letter to the boy scouts heroism award review board (this award was presented to ethan in february 2001). it is not easy to read and there are details that i never knew before. feel free to shed a few tears with me this day as you read.

god rest his soul
Douglas Clyde Edgell
May 11, 1955 - the last few days of July 2000

laying on the floor unfed, and evicted

a tale of ecstasy and boy loving

As a rule I am not bothered by inebriated folk, many times I enjoy their presence and company. I am especially understanding when I enter their environment (see: bar, club, bbq, dc united v. celtic game). I understand why people drink to excess and why they are so friendly. I do not however understand why an intoxicated male would show his body parts (chest- with special presentation of the nipples, private area- although I turned my head so I cannot be sure what was shown) to another male repeatedly. All visible clues told the story of young heterosexual interns on the hill looking to have a good time. He and his friend looked as though they might be attempting to relive some of their days as fraternity brothers. Their actions however spun a tale of ecstasy (possibly the drug) and boy loving. I can understand an ironic flash of the male chest to another male in an attempt of humor, but the repeated tapping of the shoulder to make sure I was aware of what he was showing me was bothersome. I was at the club trying to show my wife her first taste of small club live music and unfortunately we were met with these nudie boys. Fortunately, after successfully ignoring them they proceeded to touch upon one another. I think they found what they were looking for. Maybe if my wife was not there with me the story would have had a much different (better, more flaming) ending.

Oh and the drive by truckers did what they do best. They did it so well that we had to leave early to tend to the casualties of the evening.

a blessing and a curse

the new album is out. they are still rocking, albeit in a different way. the album has taken a little longer to grow on me but it is definitely making its way into my heart. a little more power pop and a little less south. all hail the greatest rock band on the planet!

Strong Enough for a Man, PH Balanced for a Woman

Secrets... who do you tell your secrets to? Do you tell anyone your secrets? I am sure most of you have visited POST SECRET but if not, check it out. Very interesting and touching. This is both sharing and caring. Consider THIS a formal invitation to attend an event they are having in Alexandria, VA. Let me know if you are in and we will share and care together.

The Unbinding

I recently read the novel Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn and thoroughly enjoyed it. Before reading the book I also watched the movie by the same title which was equally enjoyable. The story is about a kid growing up in the 80's and his struggle with obsession/addiction. Topics covered include: religion (mormonism), chemical substance, herbal substance, thumbsucking, performance recognition, and more. I cannot vouch for the artistic quality of either because of my disclaimer below, but what I will do is extend an invitation to you. Walter Kirn is currently providing the world with a biweekly installment online novel for free. Will you read Walter Kirn's The Unbinding twice a week and then tell me what you think? Will you?

DISCLAIMER: I am a sucker for coming of age/adolescent life books, movies, and even music. We need not theorize as to why I am so interested in this genre, that could get ugly and embarrassing for the both of us. So back to being a sucker... the problem with being a sucker for anything is that you become a poor judge of quality. I want to think that I can enjoy something and still be a decent judge of quality so I need your help. Please accept my invitation above.

PHD Lifestyle

GO GATORS!!! It's great to be a FLORIDA GATOR! What a great day it was. They came in and took care of business. They played like dogs. Brought out their PHD style of play. Poor, hungry, and driven. Joakim even looks like a poor, hungry, and driven Jesus Lizard (credit due- bshiz). Speaking of PHD, shouldn't we all live that lifestyle a little more? I really should start to live like I am poor, hungry, and driven to fulfill those basic life needs. There is one problem though, I am wealthy, well-fed, and there is no drive to fulfill basic life needs because I, quite honestly, have arrived. I have no need for this so called dog-like, hunter gatherer lifestyle. It would be dishonest of me to live a PHD lifestyle. GO GATORS!!!

Dear UF Gators,

Do not let the fact that nobody watched the game get you down. Let us be honest with one another, you made UCLA look like a junior high school girl's mathletes team, it just was not that exciting to watch. Unless of course you are watching your lifetime lover (and friend... you know ursher, john, and luda had to do it again) win their first tournament, which I was, in which case it was a terrific display of manliness and athleticism. I will be dreaming of you tonight and doing the GATOR CHOMP. I love you.

Love,

bean jah

merry christmas

No, not happy holidays... MERRY CHRISTMAS! This winter (which according to the calendar does not start for another 4 days, but I think everyone can agree that snow=winter, unless of course you live in utah, in which case it can snow in any season... not sure all of this should have gone in parenthesis but I am sure you will get over it) has brought cold and hibernation like any other. Natural instincts to grow more hair and eat more to stay warm have slowly overtaken my daily activities. There has to be a way to exercise during the winter. Any ideas? Let me know because heaven knows I cannot gain all the weight back that I have been working so hard to lose. Speaking of Christmas, there are some great posts on the holiday on this blog that I have been reading lately. Looking at Christmas, it's traditions, and it's media spawn from a different perspective.

ENG 320

Moments after emerging from the birth canal, I was given a label, a label by which I am still known to this day. That label is Benjamin Edgell. Much like this label, which I took no part in choosing, other labels are applied to me each day. Some of my current labels are newlywed, procurement manager for Lockheed Martin, Accounting Major at Strayer University, and music participant.

I have a great interest in applying labels to other people and the things around me through writing. Affixing labels to the things around me allows me to understand them more fully. In this course I would like to take the time necessary to explore my labeling rather than hurrying through the task merely to achieve the approval of a professor. I would like to learn to write for personal enjoyment and expression.

Interesting Study

There is an interesting study going on currently that you might want to keep an eye on. A colleague of mine has begun research on an interesting species in Provo, Utah.

category 2

I am not in the office due to tropical storm Katrina. I will check my e-mail if at all possible.

Thanks, Rob

random

i am bothered by those who call completely logical events 'random' and i say enough already! few events, if any, are random and even fewer people are random. autumn is back and so is the soul. does anybody read or write out here anymore? let's talk again friends.

some like it hot

every winter i trick myself into believing that i like warm weather better, but then god throws me a day like this. 200 degrees and it feels like 300, Celsius and Fahrenheit, what do i care. i really do like cold weather better. as a colleague of mine stated, at least in the winter you can put on more and more clothes until you obtain a satisfactory level of warmth, in the summer you can only get down to nothing, then you still die from the heat. the problem with winter is the sunlight. we have got to solve the problem of daylight during winter. i cannot do darkness, it eats at me. makes me nuts.

slightly shifted

i woke up yesterday and everything had changed, not some great 180 degree turn but a slight shift. people at work showed up 21 minutes late. my boss called to say he was coming in late and i swear i heard video games in the background. he did not come into work until 1:43 PM. they are doing construction in my building so everything is still in the building but in a different location. as i have recently been married, new things are all over my living area. i share a bed with someone... every night. even my work area feels as though someone shifted everything slightly to the left. it seems as everyone has new feelings for or against other people as well. none of my relationships seem the same as they were last week. they've all shifted slightly for the better or for the worse. nothing is constant. these events would not even be worthy of publishing except for the fact that the same things happened today. who shows up 21 minutes late to work? 5 or 10 i can understand, i can even deal with 1 or 2 hours, but 21 minutes?! seems as though life itself is screwing with me.