Guilty Pleasures 2.1 or my ESPN does not work, give me a break!

when i have extra time in the morning my wife and i usually watch sportscenter on ESPN. we like to catch scott van pelt dropping tenacious d references or the dry wit of neil everett (these two are by far our favorite anchor team). on this particular morning i had about 20 minutes before i had to get ready for work. i turned on the tv and dialed up ESPN to watch sportscenter. it turns out that COX, our ever-reliable cable provider, would not grace us with ESPN this morning. it was not simply a blank screen but it gave us the "you have not bought this channel, call us at 1-800-COX to order ESPN" message. on a separate note, COX has been turning off our cable box at random times to keep things exciting. this is a special service you can get FOR FREE, but only from COX. it gets really fun and crazy when you are trying to watch a DCU v. Chicago Fire game and the cable box goes out right before your team gets scored on. anyway, COX is not a guilty pleasure it is merely guilty.

so ESPN was not working and i needed to watch something for the next 20 minutes. i flipped through the channels and found what i was looking for.

it brought back (full disclosure: i freudian slipped the first time i typed this and wrote 'broke back' instead of 'brought back' by mistake, oops) a lot of good memories. early 90's fashion was so awesome. i think that i will start wearing my suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up. i love suits, but now i can really tailor them to fit my fashion sense.

i sure hope that zack and kelly end up together. in the episode this morning they decided to date other people. what that really meant was that zack was trying to get with the new nurse, but then she tricked him into wanting kelly back. but it was too late, damn that melvin nerdly!

who knew that a true friend would have told AC Slater when he was really not that great on KATY, Bayside High School's radio station, instead of letting him read it in the school paper? i was not able to finish the second episode that came on, but i sure hope that they can save the Max from being turned into a parking lot.

if, and only if, your ESPN is not working check out TBS in the morning.

who is hallam foe?

as i have discussed previously, i am a sucker for coming of age stories. there is a new movie coming out by director david mackenzie called HALLAM FOE. from my limited interaction with a sort of production turned marketing blog and hallam's myspace (which is kind of cool that he has a spot on "the porch" in character) it appears to be a darker coming of age story. i like dark. dark seems real. maybe that's just pessimism, but i tend to learn more from the dark. the best description i have found of what i think the movie will be like is at gapingvoid. hugh at gaping void spent some time living with the director when they were younger. their experience, i believe, directly feeds the movie:

This summer was the first time for both of us being on our own without family or adult supervision, making money and let's say [cough], meeting women. Proper women, not schoolgirls. Up until this time, we'd both had girlfriends and all, but this was when we both started... how do you say... climbing up the sexual learning curve by having experiences with older women. Which, believe me, was a totally different scene from dating the respectable young "gells" from Edinburgh's finest private schools, which had up till then been our only experience with the fairer sex.

And this vibe is what Hallam Foe is about. Forget the plot details, Hallam Foe leaves home and starts having experiencing older women, in the Biblical sense. That's what the movie is really about. Coming-of-Age for boys is a very paradoxical phase of life. We're still kids, and yet, we're not. And for Dave and myself, it was these rather random, strangely existential experiences with older women who ushered us through that phase.

go to gapingvoid to read the rest of this post. it is really quite interesting. i will continue to follow hallam foe's path. i would really like to get to know who he is. at the very least i know he is the kid from billy elliot, so it cannot be all bad.

Real Suck Lake's Jeff Cunningham

as the DC United v. Real Salt Lake game approaches, i thought it appropriate to spotlight one of the bad guys. as if we needed any more fuel, this should add a little more to saturday's fire (no not chicago's fire, let's not speak of them right now).

Dear MLS and American sports fans,

"I have no problems with anything that's been said of me. It's been said all my career. I think people fancy me. They can't figure me out. I'm an attractive guy. I make good money and I score goals. I'm the kind of guy I believe people love. And, at the same time, they can't figure out why they love me so much, so they decide to hate me." (rest of the article, read up Ackerman)

Delusionaly yours,

JC

it is almost as if Jeff thinks there are not enough T.O.s in American futbol. i do not know about you guys but the reason i hate him is because i loved him too much and i could not for the life of me figure out why.

(thanks to kali for bringing this to my attention and i hope you will not be too humiliated by losing to our reserve team on saturday).

Hustle and Putt

I am not a golfer. In the past I have been know to refer to the game of golf as "a rich white man's sport." At my current place of employment, upper management has made a recent habit of putting in the hallways. Last week when the power went out (which it tends to do on a monthly basis) they set up a 25 foot putting competition. I watched as each of my colleagues grossly over or under estimated their putting attempts. One fellow's closest attempt hit a kind lady in the foot about 10 feet behind the putting cup. My associates taunted me and offered me the putter. I politely declined each offer. I do not mind embarrassing myself on the internet, but at work I try to maintain a certain cool composure. All of these men are golf guys. You know the kind, various golf memorabilia on their office walls. You can catch them actually watching the PGA tournaments on their computers at work. These guys dedicate spring/summer/fall weekends to improving their "short game" (whatever that means). I did not have a chance against them. I have not even played miniature golf in over a year. Their incessant badgering and peer pressure finally worked. I stepped on to the "green" (actually a weird like navy blue checked brown carpet, you know, like office carpet always looks).

I decided to get it over with quickly so I teed up and took my first stroke with no practice swing. The ball gently rolled towards the cup and IT WENT IN! Surely this was beginner's luck. BUT NO! I went on to sink 4 out of 5 putts. I was easily the best putter in the building. My associates were amazed and worried about me hustling them in a variety of other activities. Who knew that a simple task such as putting could strike fear into the hearts of men? Men do not like to have an inferior beat them at their own game (see also: Saturday Soccer Matches). I do already have the putting game down, how hard can the rest of it be? I will just practice up on my "short game" and I should be destroying my work mates on the links in no time.

I already have the "white man" part down, perhaps the "rich" part only comes after playing the sport. I am definitely willing to find out.

Gypsy Punk Cabaret

Presenting, Gogol Bordello with front man Eugene Hutz in Start Wearing Purple.

I urge you to see the movie Everything is Illuminated. Mr. Hutz provides us with one of the funniest and most endearing performances of all time. You will not be disappointed. Elijah Woods takes the lead and does pretty well himself. Not only is it funny, but also enlightening and touching. Go rent it! Now!

Guilty Pleasures 2.0 or The New Equation

"Why do you look so familiar? I could swear that I have seen your face before. I think I like that you seem sincere. I think I would like to get to know you a little bit more," said Avril (in her song Who Knows on her album Under My Skin). I replied sincerely, "I probably look so familiar because I am usually rocking with you while I sweat and pant along my way at speed 5.2 incline 3.0. I am not sure why I have to tell the world these things but an open world is a loving world right? It is all out there and it is all true. Just love me for who I am. Maybe we would all look more familiar if we shared these things with each other, right?

Dear Ackerman, Why was RSL able to beat DC United?

maybe it was because we were tired of winning, ever think of that? i mean come on, you can only dominate so long before it gets boring. or maybe it was because RSL plays on the WORST athletic field in the known universe. seriously it's barely astro turf, it is like the green stuff underneath the fruits and vegetables in the grocery store. how can any self respecting soccer team be expected to know how to play a game meant for grass on worn mormon church carpet? and seriously, how can you call a win from penalty shots a win? that's cheap and unmanly. bring something besides cunningham to the field next time and maybe we won't feel sorry for you and let you win on penalty kicks.

now, i hope you have noticed what we have been working on since we graciously allowed RSL to chalk up their 6th win on the season. we have been quite busy making ourselves a world soccer power. we made up 8 of the 18 member all star squad (including Facundo Erpen who at the last minute had to replace the sole RSL allstar eddie pope because he is old) that handed premiership champion chelsea a 1-0 defeat. we then went on to tie La Liga power Real Madrid, which took care of RSL with no problem. did you see the united play Real Madrid? in the first half we looked AMAZING!

anyway, that's why you were able to beat us. you will not be so lucky next time.

Until September 9th!

one more thing, how was rice eccles able to come up with real grass for the Real Madrid game? that is unacceptable.

death behind their eyes

it is not an exclusive club. they are the humans that wake up each day to do the same thing. at one time they were full of dreams and hope. there were moments of sheer brilliance and creativity. they were angry about injustices or maybe just angry enough to do something. they were committed enough to take part in things that were not logical or part of the prescribed remedy. the prescribed remedy for life. simply a path to take until death do they part. i do not make a habit of looking at myself in the mirror very often. i am not sure why, but i do not like to do it. recently i have caught my eyes in the mirror. obviously being attached to my face these have to be my eyes. but i know my eyes and they have life behind them, the eyes i have been seeing in the mirror do not.

moses has started to share a story about one of these individuals. read about frank or the spirit of frank (the story starts on 7-26-06).

last night's storm

even for the locals it was a hot sweltering day. we were huddled together in what seemed to be a church or a school. maybe it was a school, used as a church on the weekends. there were about ten of us trying to avoid the next explosion crashing into the building. the philippines had erupted in civil war a week or so before and we were on the run. our attackers' weapon of choice were quarter-sized explosives that were launched from sling shots.

glass shattered and spread across the room as yet another "quarter" shot through the window. we tried to escape but unfortunately several of our group did not dive out of the way in time.

there were only five of us left: momma e, moses, banana, andec, and myself. we had lost five other family members throughout the morning. after several failed attempts, we finally made our way outside to the cars. we piled into my car and moses followed in a circa 1974 lincoln towncar. as we tore through the dirt roads we aimed for any pedestrian we could see. at this point, everyone was an enemy. we arrived at a beachside resort that was much too fancy for our ragged clothes and mud stained skin. nobody seemed to care about our desperate pleas for help. even an american soldier was among the guests and he had but few encouraging words for us. the roads were blocked off in every direction with military and militia fighting for ground. for some reason none of us thought to contact the american embassy.

this dream brought to you by a predawn thunderstorm, lebanese and israeli blogs, driving by a catholic school last weekend, and an active imagination.

free to a good home

frequently in my place of employment there are items placed on the table in the break room. these items are usually identified with a note indicating, "free to a good home." yesterday as i came into work i noticed there were new items on the table. it appeared as though someone brought in their old cds that they could not sell on half.com or any other respectable website. my elitist streak defeated my curiosity as each time i passed the table i declined its open offer to take one of these albums and make it my own. what would i want in this pile of has been popular music? the stack of cds slowly disappeared throughout the day. by this morning there was only one album left. now i did not have to rummage through them, i could plainly see what i had been neglecting; the sign by ace of base. normally i would not have paid any attention to this particular album but today was different. last week was a nostalgia ridden, emotion filled week. i might have been driving in my car and a particular hit song from 1993 might have come on the radio. i might have turned up the volume and there is a slight chance that i sang along. i mean... come on...who wouldn't. after all, all that she wants is another baby, uh ah ah. so here i sit at my computer, right down the hall from this cd that i totally kind of want to listen to. it is FREE to a good home. i am positive i could provide acceptable accommodations for this swedish pop. on the other hand, there is no way that i could allow my associates to see me take an ace of base album. i really would like to listen to a couple songs on there though. is it really this hard? maybe if i can kind of hang around in the break room i will have a chance to quickly place it in my pocket. will a cd jewel case fit in my pocket? seriously, it is ACE OF BASE, i will NOT take it. the frustration! maybe my wife has the cd, i bet she does. how lame, who listens to ace of base?!

d, do you have that album? shhhh.. do not say a word to anyone about this.

what don't you do?

"hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love"
"I am Cee-Lo. I am a humble trumpet, and the wind of God blows through me."
-found on the Gnarls Barkley website

if you have not experienced the soul machine you should take a moment from your day and visit him. luckily gnarls barkley has successfully brought him into the public again (any popular radio station will introduce you). cee lo green has the most amazing southern soulful voice i have ever heard. what he does with his vocal cords are what all good singers should do. stop holding it back, let it go, wail. let us know how you feel. let the wind of god blow through you.

and the devil is six, and the devil is 6

six years have passed. nothing has changed. the characters, the plot, and the setting are still quite intact. six years ago my father passed. this time of year usually catches me by surprise because it is not a date i keep in my calendar nor do i care to remember. i have tried so hard that i do not know the exact date that it happened. this year i was reminded a week in advance by a well-meaning associate. a word to the well-meaning, keep your good intentions to yourself. instead of dealing with this on the day of or the day after, i have an entire week to anticipate its arrival. in an odd attempt to pay tribute to the dead, each year i google my father. this year's search yielded two pieces of the web that i feel are worth sharing. every year i find articles detailing my father's induction into the military intelligence corps hall of fame. this year i found an article that names the inductees, shares a short bio (you will find my father's at the bottom of the first page), and can be understood by civilians. the other piece is a little more disturbing. the night my father died a young man attempted to resuscitate him. the young man detailed his experience in a letter to the boy scouts heroism award review board (this award was presented to ethan in february 2001). it is not easy to read and there are details that i never knew before. feel free to shed a few tears with me this day as you read.

god rest his soul
Douglas Clyde Edgell
May 11, 1955 - the last few days of July 2000

laying on the floor unfed, and evicted

a tale of ecstasy and boy loving

As a rule I am not bothered by inebriated folk, many times I enjoy their presence and company. I am especially understanding when I enter their environment (see: bar, club, bbq, dc united v. celtic game). I understand why people drink to excess and why they are so friendly. I do not however understand why an intoxicated male would show his body parts (chest- with special presentation of the nipples, private area- although I turned my head so I cannot be sure what was shown) to another male repeatedly. All visible clues told the story of young heterosexual interns on the hill looking to have a good time. He and his friend looked as though they might be attempting to relive some of their days as fraternity brothers. Their actions however spun a tale of ecstasy (possibly the drug) and boy loving. I can understand an ironic flash of the male chest to another male in an attempt of humor, but the repeated tapping of the shoulder to make sure I was aware of what he was showing me was bothersome. I was at the club trying to show my wife her first taste of small club live music and unfortunately we were met with these nudie boys. Fortunately, after successfully ignoring them they proceeded to touch upon one another. I think they found what they were looking for. Maybe if my wife was not there with me the story would have had a much different (better, more flaming) ending.

Oh and the drive by truckers did what they do best. They did it so well that we had to leave early to tend to the casualties of the evening.

a blessing and a curse

the new album is out. they are still rocking, albeit in a different way. the album has taken a little longer to grow on me but it is definitely making its way into my heart. a little more power pop and a little less south. all hail the greatest rock band on the planet!

Strong Enough for a Man, PH Balanced for a Woman

Secrets... who do you tell your secrets to? Do you tell anyone your secrets? I am sure most of you have visited POST SECRET but if not, check it out. Very interesting and touching. This is both sharing and caring. Consider THIS a formal invitation to attend an event they are having in Alexandria, VA. Let me know if you are in and we will share and care together.

The Unbinding

I recently read the novel Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn and thoroughly enjoyed it. Before reading the book I also watched the movie by the same title which was equally enjoyable. The story is about a kid growing up in the 80's and his struggle with obsession/addiction. Topics covered include: religion (mormonism), chemical substance, herbal substance, thumbsucking, performance recognition, and more. I cannot vouch for the artistic quality of either because of my disclaimer below, but what I will do is extend an invitation to you. Walter Kirn is currently providing the world with a biweekly installment online novel for free. Will you read Walter Kirn's The Unbinding twice a week and then tell me what you think? Will you?

DISCLAIMER: I am a sucker for coming of age/adolescent life books, movies, and even music. We need not theorize as to why I am so interested in this genre, that could get ugly and embarrassing for the both of us. So back to being a sucker... the problem with being a sucker for anything is that you become a poor judge of quality. I want to think that I can enjoy something and still be a decent judge of quality so I need your help. Please accept my invitation above.

PHD Lifestyle

GO GATORS!!! It's great to be a FLORIDA GATOR! What a great day it was. They came in and took care of business. They played like dogs. Brought out their PHD style of play. Poor, hungry, and driven. Joakim even looks like a poor, hungry, and driven Jesus Lizard (credit due- bshiz). Speaking of PHD, shouldn't we all live that lifestyle a little more? I really should start to live like I am poor, hungry, and driven to fulfill those basic life needs. There is one problem though, I am wealthy, well-fed, and there is no drive to fulfill basic life needs because I, quite honestly, have arrived. I have no need for this so called dog-like, hunter gatherer lifestyle. It would be dishonest of me to live a PHD lifestyle. GO GATORS!!!

Dear UF Gators,

Do not let the fact that nobody watched the game get you down. Let us be honest with one another, you made UCLA look like a junior high school girl's mathletes team, it just was not that exciting to watch. Unless of course you are watching your lifetime lover (and friend... you know ursher, john, and luda had to do it again) win their first tournament, which I was, in which case it was a terrific display of manliness and athleticism. I will be dreaming of you tonight and doing the GATOR CHOMP. I love you.

Love,

bean jah